It is true that no one is an expert when it comes to the subject of love and marriage. One may think he or she has it all figured out, but eventually finds out that there’s still more they need to learn. Experience is the best teacher in this case, however not all learns from either theirs or others experiences. For the lucky ones, they don’t need experience to be taught on how to love and sustain their marriage, while for the not so lucky ones, they still don’t get it right in love and marriage, despite all the experiences gathered. These two categories of people cut across both genders, not minding his or her age, background or even life career. Even the celebrities are not left out of the struggles of getting it right with being in love and settling down to build a family. Like every other normal unpopular human, they go through the same love and marriage rollercoasters.
Recall the story of the American actress and singer, Jennifer Lopez, who after being married for barely two years filed for a divorcé. She was married to Ben Affleck, an American actor. They had a grand wedding on July 17, 2022, at The Little White Wedding Chapel in Las Vegas. She filed for a divorce at the Los Angeles County Superior Court, on the same day which ought to be their second year wedding anniversary. Although, reports showed that she filed for the divorce on her own, without an attorney or legal representation, stating the separation date as April 26, 2024, approximately four months ago to the day she went to the court to file for a divorce.
Two months after the incident, Lopez finally went public to make an official statement about everything that led to the heartbreaking split up between the two lovers. In an interview with Interview Magazine, the American superstar revealed that she never regretted for a second, rekindling her romantic relationship with Ben Affleck, however, the experience of splitting up for the second time was one that nearly took her out for good.
She said that it “doesn’t mean it didn’t almost take me out for good. It almost did. But now, on the other side of it, I think to myself, that is exactly what I needed. Thank you, God. I’m sorry it took me so long. I’m sorry that you had to do this to me so many times. I should have learned it two or three times ago. I get it. You had to hit me really hard over the head with a sledgehammer. You dropped the house on me. Don’t have to do it again.”
She added, “I think that’s what I love about life, that there’s no arrival point. There’s only getting better and growing if you want to. It’s either growing or dying, and I don’t want to do the dying part. And yeah, there’s times when I thought I figured it out, and then life goes, ‘Let’s send you another thing and see if you fall for it. Let’s see if you really have learned that lesson.’ And I hadn’t.”
According to her, “you have to be good on your own” if you want to have a relationship that’s “more complete. I thought I learned that, but I didn’t. And then, this summer, I had to be like, ‘I need to go off and be on my own. I want to prove to myself that I can do that.'”
Moving on, Jennifer Lopez mentioned that relationships in her life at the moment are the ones with God and herself. She mentioned “the relationship with yourself, for me, is the relationship with myself being cultivated in this moment and my relationship with God, that I think we tend to get away from at times, when you’re wrapped up with other people. And God has always been such a big part of my life.”
Lopez has been married four times, first to Ojani Noa, then Cris Judd, followed by the father of her children, Marc Anthony. She was engaged to Alex Rodriguez before calling things off and rekindling things with Affleck.
In conclusion, genuine love comes from within and no one can love you as much as you love yourself. So before you give out love to others, ensure you love yourself first. Even the bible says love your neighbor as yourself and not than yourself. Probably if Lopez had realized this sooner, she wouldn’t have found herself in this current situation. Nevertheless, her resolve from this heartbreaking experience is quite commendable. This is a story everyone should learn from. No matter the challenges that come your way, even beyond love and marriage challenges, always choose to stay strong, resilient and determined, because that the best version of love you can offer to yourself.
By Kofoworola Oladoke
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